


Caffeine and Grounded Coffee Beans

by Yotsubadancesintherain5



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: 5 Things, Gen, Humor, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-29
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2019-04-14 10:41:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14134395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yotsubadancesintherain5/pseuds/Yotsubadancesintherain5
Summary: In one particular world Homura finds that coffee has more use than just a way to start the day.





	Caffeine and Grounded Coffee Beans

**Author's Note:**

> Based on Puella Magi Homura Tamura: ~Parallel Worlds Do Not Remain Forever~ - you don't have to read the books to read this but I highly recommend reading the books. They're hilarious.
> 
> Technically underage drinking, but it's played for laughs as it is in the manga.

At first Homura thanked every star in the sky that this world at least seemed normal. No stupid pranks awaited her, or giant robots or cameras everywhere like that one American movie. But when she got to work and defeated a Witch, there was no grief seed. A ticket voucher fell down instead, with an address and a logo of a coffee mug. Homura looked up at the sky, a long groan escaping her throat.

She went to go find this place, and found it sandwiched in between a clothing store and a parchment store. It was a little café, with red awnings and a large window so that prospective customers could look inside. Homura did just that and saw Kyoko sitting at the bar, chugging down a cup of coffee. Homura opened the door and was hit by the rich, overwhelming smell of coffee. 

Kyoko slammed down her mug and demanded another. A human-like Kyubey, only his head similar to the alien, immediately went to freshen the drink. Homura twitched, remembering the motorcycles.

She said, "Hello," to Kyoko. "How do I use this ticket?"

"What kind of magical girl are you?" Kyoko asked. She seemed to vibrate, just a little. "You use 'em to purify your Soul Gem! Coffee heals, at least on Kyubey's planet."

She got her cup and the liquid was gone in no time. Kyoko yelled for another and this Kyubey obeyed. He looked rather harried.

"But dumb Mami didn't like coffee," Kyoko muttered, her voice a little cracked. "Said it didn't taste good at all. You have to drink it even if you don't like it."

Homura quietly sat beside Kyoko, and ordered a coffee. 

-

"But coffee is disgusting," Sayaka said. She was holding a voucher that fell from a Witch.

Homura grabbed it, a hard glare on her face. She'd been the one to earn this piece of salvation.

"Then you can't touch this. Getting through the taste is what it means to be a magical girl."

"You're as harsh as coffee, Tamura."

-

"This is what happens when you become a magical girl," Homura said, and she lifted one of her hands from Madoka's shoulders to point at the sight before them.

Kyoko was holding Sayaka tightly, to keep her from shaking. It wasn't helping.

"I haven't slept for days!" Sayaka lamented. Her hair was unwashed and limp, and her eyes were quite bloodshot, with large bags underneath them.

"You become a caffeine demon," Homura said.

"I don't want to become that..."

-

Homura waited for her coffee. In the end they took Sayaka to a large field and let her run around until she passed out. She pressed impressive trails in the grass, almost like crop circles. Taking her back took all the effort of the three girls and even then it was hard work but it was better than Sayaka dying.

Homura inspected her time shield and suddenly turned it because hot coffee fell into her lap.

-

"Damn that Kyubey!" Homura ranted. "A week! Not even a week and he startles me into going back!"

The other Homuras nodded sympathetically. One Homura said, "That really sucks, Tamura."

Homura angrily shoveled potatoes into her mouth, too irritated to answer.

"At least you still have your appetite," Bar Homura said cheerfully. She rather motherly looked over the spectacle of Homura eating that much.

Homura took a moment to chew. She regarded the beer in front of her.

"You know, all that coffee did was make me appreciate beer."

She drank a gulp of beer and immediately spat it out. Still too bitter for her tongue.


End file.
